7-Tips for a Great Halloween!

1. If you keep skeletons in your closet, make sure that you have enough storage space elsewhere in your home. A skeleton collection can soon take over a castle if one isn’t careful. Remember! If you collect, collect sensibly.

2. Things of the past have a habit of coming back to haunt you. Yes, you may have convinced yourself that it was a dead issue but some things just won’t stay buried. Shockingly, many people exercise their demons instead of exorcising them. This is a clear example of the danger of words that sound the same but are spelled differently. If you find yourself being haunted by things in the past we would recommend a good exorcism. Do what it takes to get things cleaned up! Remember! A clean castle is a happy castle!

3. Don’t get carried away…by a zombie mob. If you see mobs of humans slowly shuffling along, looking for brains…look for ways to get around them without being noticed. If there is no way to get around them, prepare to run to avoid getting sucked into yet another futile political discussion. Remember! The mob wants you but you don’t have to go along with what the mob wants.

4. If some well-meaning soul invites you to join them in a witch hunt, don’t be afraid to refuse. No one in the history of the human race has ever achieved anything by going off on a witch hunt. There are far better ways to spend your time. Think! what could you be doing instead? Could you be chasing wild geese instead? Is it time to clean the skeletons out of your closet…to make room for new ones? Remember! Your time is valuable, don’t let it be wasted on the futile hunting expeditions that are all the rage these days.

5. At this time of year many people wear masks to hide who they really are…which makes vigilance all the more important. Ask yourself, are they really a princess or is it all just an act? Believe me, many men have suffered because they refused to ask this question. Ask questions, many of them! Find out who these people really are! What are they hiding? The good thing about this is that soon people will stop coming to your house. Which means more treats for you! Remember! People aren’t always what they appear to be.

6. Watch your relationships during the holidays! Is there is someone in your life who hates the light, who hates the cross, and who always seems to drain the life right out of you? If there is, ask yourself, is it time to cancel the wedding? Remember. You won’t stay healthy if you always hang around the unhealthy.

7. Lastly, and, perhaps most importantly, always remember, if you be true to your teeth, they will never be false to you. So, take it easy on the candy.